i want to get to know someone well enough for them to understand what i am.
every relationship with a best friend that i have held together always comes down to nothing and drifting apart. god, i hate that. i have already lost my best friend since like 1st grade, and now i have about 2 people that im hoping will be with me till the end. which i hope is not in two years. well idk, could it be? i think humans are bringing themselves to destruction, not the apocalyptic zombies. we ARE apocalyptic zombies. anyway, whatever happens, happens.
sometimes i think of something cool to do, that will possibly make a difference and better myself as a person, but of course, i end up thinking about what YOU will think. and then i stop. and feel bad for myself. horrible right? we only have one life, and unless you're a certain person, i don't care what you think. as of today, im not going to care.
So I've decided i am way too nice. but thats something thats not going to change, because i actually like that part of me. it is also an aspect of my personality that gets me into deep shit sometimes. Every night I pray, even though i dont believe in anything exact. i always ask for everything to be okay, and i always thank 'for everything you've given me'.
ahhhahaha im so full of shit.
but at least i have some meaning into my actions. and so00uul
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